Families Living Together, The Ins and Outs of it all.

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Families Living Together, The Ins and Outs of it all.

by Sharon Luscombe - Counsellor

Out of the Ashes Counselling Australia

With the cost of living soaring, many families are opting to live together to save money on everyday costs. This is a great idea, however, there are several things to consider beforehand, so as to make the everyday living arrangements run more smoothly.

In many parts of the world, multi-generational living is a normal part of life. Statistics tell us that our family bonds can grow more deeply, longevity is enhanced when people live in family groups, the older family members have more purpose in their lives, warm and caring bonds are crucial to human happiness and that there are higher levels of life satisfaction when people live in family groups. While all of these things may be true, there are not many families that won't admit that it takes a bit of hard work, understanding, mutual respect, good communication and cooperation for it to work well.

Today we're going to look at a few helpful tips that can get things off to a good start.

#Respect - This can be as simple as being kind and courteous, not using language that is offensive and avoiding behaviour that is hurtful or disrespectful. This can also include remembering to respect the wishes of whoever owns the home and how they do and don't like things done in their home.

#Communication - Communication is key for a multi - generational family living together. Listen to understand, not just to reply or argue. Don't play the blame game, own your own behaviour. Be ready to apologize when you've been in the wrong. Forget anger, if you need to, take a few minutes break to calm down and then come back and revisit the conversation.

#Chores and Responsibilities - Each person should be given a few chores, according to their age, to lighten the load. One person should not be lumped with keeping the home clean and tidy, or paying all expenses. How this is divided out depends on what transpires at the family meeting, time (everyone's schedule) and who is able to do what. It is important to be fair in all dealings and define all roles and costs associated with sharing a family home. Some people like to have a chore chart on the fridge. This can show when each chore needs to be completed, by who and how regularly. Everyone participating in the chores helps build a sense of responsibility and cooperation. A plan of what's expected in regards to all bills and costs also needs to be established prior to everyone moving in together.

#Privacy and Personal Space - We all need some privacy. In a family setting it is achievable, but only with cooperation and respect from each other. Talk together about what this look's like for each person in the family and then follow through with the plan.

#Family Meetings - Family meetings are vital. They give opportunity for everyone to have say in how they'd like to see things work as well as the things they may be struggling with. It's important that each person have the time to express their feelings and thoughts and that all are respectful to each other. Validate each others feelings and work on how to approach any differences. It is also wise to remember that plans change, learning to not only discuss these changes, but adjust to them in a healthy manner will help the family dynamics run smoothly.

#Consider a Granny Flat - Does the property have room for a Granny Flat? Would this be something to consider? Many families who have a larger property find this another option that provides financial relief as well as providing personal space.

Sharing the family home has its ups and downs, however it can also provide support and build the bonds in the relationships when managed well. Does this mean all will work out well? No. However, when all involved put in their best effort to respect each other and work as a team, the end result can be a beautiful and fulfilling time in the life of the family. Children learn to value the older generation and the older generation gain the joys of being around their family.

Photo - Joshua Hanks

Need help navigating your way through family related challenges?

As always don't do life alone, call Out of the Ashes Counselling Australia, we're here to help!

PH: 0431433690